Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
