So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thus making me awesome and them whores
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
