just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
