Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
