I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
