I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
