U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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