My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
