smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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