Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
