I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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