we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
