So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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