mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
