Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
