If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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