do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
