I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
