that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
