i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He shit in the fireplace
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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