you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
did i walk over a car last night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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