I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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