The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
false alarm, still single
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
