saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
