I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
