i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
