wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
