Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
