I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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