I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize