I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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