So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
