Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
