Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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