I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
