There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
