New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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