I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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