Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
