My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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