Where is the hickey?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
