He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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