Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
