what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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