On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just invented taco cereal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
