No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
