i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
