I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
