Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
