there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
